posted by WebHobbit on December 27, 2001 21:14
We begin this tale with an email message I received early this morning:
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It is with great urgency that I type this message. I know how you hate phones so I didn’t bother trying to call. As strange as this may sound an old enemy has returned. We had all thought that with the “reorganization” and all that perhaps this dragon was slain forever:
http://www.pcworld.com/news/article/0,aid,13611,00.asp
Unfortunately one of the bean counters down stairs managed to find an old relic in the parts room. He put it online…somehow thought it would do as a “cheap file server”. What a dumb-ass. Long story short the damned thing has run amuck. First it spread virii across our entire Intranet and then managed to crash most of the machines on levels three through seven. Basically rendering our system unusable. The database is trashed…..years of work is gone. And yet something EVEN worse has happened. The beast has somehow developed an AI. It’s….sentient. I mean it PHYSICALLY moves. It’s quite UNHOLY.
WebHobbit, I implore you…you MUST help us. You must get your team back together for one more mission. You must hunt down this hellish Packard Bell and you MUST destroy it utterly.
Our internal IT department somehow managed to drive the little beast out of our own building. It was seen crossing Highway 41 and rampaging down a trail behind the levee. It shouldn’t be hard to find as it is leaving an odd “trail of errors” in it’s wake.
Good luck WH and Godspeed!
—–
Mr.Smith
CEO Reallylargecorp.com Inc.
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So I had little choice but to assemble the team:
Glocksman:
Master of the Glock 9mm. Also good with .45 autos and knows his way around a Mobo. Our “hardware guy” and Political Consultant.
ElmoH:
Master of virtually ALL handguns. Former military. Expert ammunition reloader, hardcore PC gamer & he drives a pickup truck. Our resident “High-Tech Redneck”.
And me…WebHobbit:
I carry a .357 revolver on a daily basis and I hang out in the Ars Lounge. I’m the “Lounge Mutant”….what can I say?
I called ElmoH as soon as I could. You can always get him in his truck via cellphone.
He called Glocksman (waking him up from a mid-morning nap).
And we were soon on the trail of Packard Bell…
Like Smith said it wasn’t hard to pick up the trail..
It did leave a weird trail of errors.
And since I am a bit of an expert with errors they sent me up ahead to track the beast.
They were everywhere along the trail.
One after the other leading me through the woods….
All kinds of nasties….
Clearly this thing was EVIL!
OMG…there it is in that tree!!!!!!!!!
Meanwhile a little further back down the trail Glocksman & ElmoH are wondering how I got so far ahead of them so fast. Here you can see them arguing over which way to go while Glocksman nervously checks the sites of his Smith & Wesson 4506.
After a brief debate they decide which way to go and they soon catch up. Only to find me knocked out!
ElmoH wakes me up and pulls me to my feet…
While Glocksman loads up for revenge.
Evil has a name….
I’m ready for some revenge at this point as well!
Glocksman emptied the .45 into the Packard Bell..
..but then he got too close. And it started trying to suck his arm into one of the jagged holes our rounds tore into it’s case!!!
ElmoH always ready for a rescue holds the Packard Bell down with the Bayonet of his shotgun so Glocksman can try to yank his arm free.
With Glocksman in the clear Elmo & I attack together!
“I wonder how many bad sectors this has now?”
We were pretty pleased with our work.
🙂
I chose the NO button.
Geekmen Arsenal:
ElmoH’s Mossberg Shotgun at the top. From left to right:
S&W .357 model 686
Glocksman’s Taurus .22 “pimp-gun”
Glocksman’s S&W 4506 45 ACP
Glocksman’s Glock 19 9mm
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